Stop Wasting Energy on People Who Won't Listen

an explanation. Stop defending yourself, you don't owe anyone an explanation. This is the type of person that every time you are at work you keep typing then you delete, keep typing then you delete, you keep typing then you delete. So as you type and delete, type and delete, you don't understand how come this typing and deleting is not giving you the the way. So you want to say something but you don't want to say something. You know those they call you the keyboard warrior of Facebook because sometimes they told you how you are, who you are, what you've done and then the next thing you want to say something but you feel like no. Then you type you say but I can't leave this. Then you try again and then by the end of the day you find yourself that whatever you wanted to say you still don't feel fine if you haven't said it. This is for the employee who writing four paragraphs of email to defend a decision the boss already fulfilled. The boss already said you're trying to justify why it shouldn't be like that. This is the message that is for you. The wife explaining the same thing over and over again to the family member for going for 10 years now going for 20 years now. Your husband has been like the husband that treated you well but just that one day when he said something wrong the whole family is against him and you want to try to defend him. This is the message for you. This is the message for the husband who justifying his job even the church his choices to the people that never liked him in the first place. This is who that message is for. The parent justifying parenting choices to the in-laws that will never approve how you parenting your own children. This message is for you and I want to talk to that person today because we treat every occasion as something that needs an answer. Everything doesn't need an answer. You don't have to defend yourself. If you wear a red and black and somebody tells you that you are wearing a maroon and red why would you keep on defending yourself while you know it's not true. This is the message for that person. It's like every time when there's a misunderstanding you want to try and justify your point of view to people that already decided their point of view is finished it's final and that's you can almost say full stop. They won't even change for anything. This is the message for you. So while you are defending you are not building. So stop defending while you were supposed to build. This is the message for you. You know one thing one thing I can tell you that when when Jesus was speaking to to Satan and this was a quite a funny conversation that Jesus had with Satan and the worst part of it is that Satan knew exactly the point where he can talk about because he said to God no let's say God says to Satan Satan can you see this He's so righteous. Do you know what Satan says? He comes back and he says to God God the only reason why he is like he is it is because you keep your hands on him. Now for Satan to understand that it's not about God's hand being on job at that time God says a few things. I want us to read that. Let's go to is it first job or second job? Yeah second job. Job two verse two or let me let me start let me start from job one verse 22 In all this job sent not nor charged God foolishly. So job two verse one again there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord and Satan came also among them to present himself before the Lord. Can you see you that tells that makes as if Satan was was never one of God's children. Here it says Satan came also among them then he says and the Lord said unto Satan from whence cometh thou and Satan answered the Lord and said from going to and fro in the earth and from walking up and down in the earth and the Lord said unto Satan has now considered my servant job. Now picture this God keep on telling Satan who you are and you keep on defending yourself as if God doesn't know who you are as if people has almost like they put a kind of a what is that thing called a tag a name tag on you and as they put the name tag on you you believe what they says while God has already made another name tag for you he says and where he says said unto Satan has now considered my servant job that there is none like him in the earth a perfect and upright man and one that feared God and eschewed evil and still he holdeth fast the integrity although thou movers me against him to destroy him without course and Satan answered the Lord and said skin for skin here all that man had will give for life but for thine hand now and touched his bone and his flesh and he will curse thee to thy face so what he actually says it's because your head is there if I can touch him he will surely change his mind and this is what God has said now I want to go back to this accuser job is to keep you from the witness box your job is also to step out of whatever they say if you go to Adam Adam was caught this is now in Genesis Adam was caught but at the same time he also started defending him now when you're looking at Adam two things happen first he accused God the woman you gave me so that's an accusation that God gave him the woman the woman you gave me he gave he gave like he blamed God and then at the same time he blamed his wife as if he have no hand or he have no way in what just happened so I want to tell you today sometimes it's not necessary to defend yourself at places where it's it just needs you to be quiet because your actions will speak for themselves your action will speak for themselves I want to make sure that you understand something some of the things we do because of what others have been saying about us and you want to prove them wrong you want to prove them wrong but it's not necessary to keep on proving them wrong I want to do something I'm trying to get this specific scripture let's go to Mark 3 verse 20 Mark 3 verse 20 says and the multitudes come together again so that they could not much as eat bread that they could not much as eat bread the verse 22 Mark 3 verse 22 I mean 21 and when his friend heard of it they went out to lay hold on him for they say it he is beside himself now one thing I can tell you Jesus did not defend himself even when his own family was saying he's crazy I mean your own family for how long have your own family been seeing you or saying to you certain things let me make an example I was I was one day speaking to to Hillary and she said something about business and one of the things that came to my mind and I confessed at the latest age I said to her but you trying to do business but then the things you are doing is not making you to grow the business it's almost like as if you are you are you want to do the business but you eat the business at the same time it's not the two won't come together so I kept on having that mindset about her until the recent business that she started and I said that's what I wanted to see so I was the one who who was the one that speak up against how she did the business today when I look back I'm like wow you are doing well hey so sometimes we speak because of we want to help but sometimes we criticize and not help you see so that's where the difference comes in Jesus knew that whatever he's going to say here is not going to make the situation better if he say something somebody will see it as a wrong and that is why he kept quiet the hardest accusation when it comes from your own family it's hectic when it comes from your own family that is why sometimes you just have to keep quiet and not say a lot to your family hey when you want to start the business don't tell them do you know why I'm saying don't tell them the moment you start telling them I want to start this business in a way of but wait let me let me make a certain example I want to sell napkins the first thing they say but napkins is not something that a lot of people would want now they despondent they make you to feel despondent because they their opinion matters you know your family's opinion matters so if your family tells you not to do a certain thing you will hear them or you will listen to them not knowing that the napkin business could have been the business that would have been far picture this who could ever think that mask would make so much money imagine you in 2020 telling people or your family not not people I want to start in a mask business and here comes covert and you didn't start it and people are coining it because you have listened to your family it will not take you anywhere and that is the reason why sometimes you have to keep quiet and not say certain things to your family because they might look at it differently from the point that you have because they have already made up your mind you are not a business woman they have made up your mind their minds in fact that they you are not a business person you cannot do business they made up your mind you are harder hat so even if somebody tried to speak to you you won't listen but some of the things when people start talking to you make more sense to you because of at that time you will listen but I need you to understand something some of the things Jesus had a way of not answering his his family that time if you're looking at this one it actually it actually called God to be out of his mind or Jesus I mean to be out of his mind but he didn't say anything let's go to mark 33 I mean three verse 33 and he answered them saying who is my mother or my brethren and he looked round and he looked round about on them what said about him and said behold my mother and my brethren for who so whosoever shall do the will of God the same is my brother and my sister and my mother so can you see here he made a decision or he made or he already made a conscious decision that even if you are my family and you're not doing the will of God you are not part of my family so he literally did not just say okay you are not my family this and that no no no he didn't he did not defend himself to his own family that said he was out of his mind and the worst part of it is there sometimes they want you to say something to trap you I want you to listen to this one again sometimes they want you to say something so that they can trap you let's let's go to to to Matthew 22 verse 15 let's go to Matthew 22 verse 15 so sometimes people make you want to say something and then when you say something that same words that you were saying they will use it as a trap and this each and every one of you that sits here I can tell you now there was a time where you wanted to say something but you know your words is going to be seen incorrectly or wrongly Matthew 22 verse 15 then went the Pharisees and took counsel how they might entangle him in his talk did you hear that he says then he went the Pharisees and took counsel how they might entangle him in his talk now I want to I want to take this this section no I want to say some of the questions that get asked are not sincere questions it's that one that they want to find out the thing behind the thing looks like I'm not speaking to the right people today if you are a human being let me let me ask you this way if you are a human being have you ever got to get to somebody asking you did they call you knowing that the question they asked actually was to find out did they actually uh gave you the job so they didn't want to ask did they call you they just didn't want that the strict like the straight question they didn't want they come with a try so now when they come with their own ways so did they call you you you're still not making sure what is the question what what do you know who must call me no that company you know that company they said oh no you mumu no they called they called me ah they even gave me the job no when are you studying no I'm going to start three months from now the actual reason they ask is that they wanted to go back to that company and badmouth you do you know the one that you that you're going to to uh give the job to every monday that one is drunk every monday you will struggle you will find every monday that that person is babalas he won't work on mondays fridays he just disappear by by by 12 o'clock he's gone because on friday he must go and drink now you that just said I got the job get another interview suddenly tell me what is happening on mondays what is happening on fridays because when we called they now make look look as if they called your previous jobs when we call them they talk about mondays you and mondays you are not together what's the situation these are the things they try to entangle you this is the exact thing that they say they took a council how they might entangle him in his talk now let me let me give you what entangle means the greek word is pegidio it means to set a snare like for an animal that's a snare like for an animal now one of the things that you should understand that when people try to speak to you it happens that there's a motive behind it so stop defending yourself you don't owe anyone an explanation my message is entitled stop defending yourself you don't owe anyone an explanation because if you keep on explaining it's where they set a trap for you jesus did not defend himself to his own family who said he lost his mind number two he did not answer trap questions but let me let me tell you something now some of the things that when people ask you a question it's sincere you find those sincere questions yes but then there's questions that the holy spirit is already has been speaking to you about don't answer don't answer hear the entanglement if i go to 20 verse 21 let me show you matthew 22 verse 21 they said unto him caesar's then said unto them render therefore unto caesar the things which are caesar's and unto god the things that are god's no i think i think let me go a little bit back so that you can understand let's read from 15 and i will read as follow then when the pharisees and took counsel how they might entangle him in his talk and they sent out unto him their disciples with the heronians saying master we know that thou are true and teaches the way of god in truth neither carers thou for any men for thou regarded not the the person of men tell us therefore what thinkers thou is it lawful to give tribute unto caesar or not did you hear hear that one is it lawful to give tribute unto caesar or not but jesus perceive their wickedness holy spirit has already told you this one this question is a wicked question perceive the wickedness and say it why tempt ye me you hypocrites show me the three tribute money and thou bought unto him a penny and he said unto them wo whose is this image and supercription they said unto him caesar's then said unto him unto them sorry he he who is jesus said unto them render therefore unto caesar the things which are caesar's and unto god the things that are god can you see here jesus already knew the wickedness how do you not see that wickedness in that question you don't have to answer for somebody who already made up your mind they made up their minds already the way they made up their minds is that whatever you say will not help you whatever you are saying it will not help you they've already made up their minds about you they've already made up their minds about you and some of the things that we we do say people will try try to ask you questions to entangle you why did you leave that job no did it hey you mu mu keep on answering the time that you ask why did you leave the job you were not supposed to answer you were supposed to keep quiet why is your church so small heaven what do you mean why is the church so small they want to entangle you why don't you have kids yet heaven is it your business it's not your business if i have kids now or if i have kids whenever i'm 50 it's not your business they even ask you why are you still single and you are so old it's none of your business whether i'm single or not it's not your business they want to entangle you they want to entangle you why is this why is that you don't owe anybody any any answer you don't owe them any answer most of those questions they don't seek information most of those questions is testing you will you defend yourself most of those questions is testing you to defend yourself some of the questions come through as noise jesus did not answer the noise he only answered things that matters and that one thing that matters is what you must answer the things that matters we sometimes keep quiet and the things that doesn't matter we but the things that matters is the things that we keep quiet do you know what i mean by that i want the jacket yes i'll buy you the jacket yes i got the you got the jacket but the things that matters the camp is on the 20th the 19th of june i don't know i already bought the jacket but because the camp is now now there's no more money because the things that matters has been talked about but the things that doesn't matter has not been answered that is what i mean by it answer things that matters and the things that does not matter leave those alone and here i'm not picking i'm just making an example so that you can understand there was a time if i can if i can remember me going back you remember when i left my way you asked me the question why did i leave and i didn't give you like the straight answer pamruti is 2018 it's all almost 2028 already and yet i have not given my wife the real answer on that question why did i leave my way i gave her some of the reasons but not all of them and the one reason that even up till today is the most uh what say man the most honest answer was the answer that i felt that they couldn't see my word how can you be working for so much this that any other but you don't get enough money monetary because that is all i was asking was the monetary value of how can i become or how can i get paid more money i was getting a a basic salary of 15 000 rent and i went and i spoke i said no i want more and yet from 15 000 rent to to 18 000 rent that's that that was on my basics i did not talk about basic i specifically said to them i don't care about the basic money because basic is basic i care about the commission let my commission structure be be more because i knew on the basic i will not be getting enough money but on the on the commission it would be more i found my worth the harder i work the more money i would get i don't want to work on a basic that will not change anything and that is what i asked them and yet they didn't give it to me they changed it from the 15 to the 18 18 000 rent was was fine but do you know what it does it pushes you from one uh do you call it a tax bracket to a next tax bracket so the 3000 rent doesn't even matter because you get text on it more these are the things that matters i have not spoke about the things that matters all i said ah let me leave them didn't make sense so some of the things that we go through we just have to keep our peace let's go to Matthew 27 Matthew 27 and we read from verse 12 now and when he was accused of the chief priest and elders he answered nothing then said Pilate unto him years thou not how many things thy witness against thee and he answered him to never a word in so much that the governor marveled greatly here is somebody accusing him then said Pilate unto him years down not how many things they witness against thee before Pilate Jesus did not defend himself he kept silent sometimes when they accuse you you don't have to defend yourself but can you hear here this side he says where's that one 14 him to never a word him to never a word he did not say anything but do you know where he started talking he started answering them on the matter that matters the most let me let me let's go to John John 18 let's go to John 18 let me let me show you because sometimes we what we do is we answer the things that matters and the things that doesn't matter we do not answer Matthew i mean john 18 1836 now for these things were done that scripture should be fulfilled no man this is 19 i said 18 1836 jesus answered my kingdom is not of this world if my kingdom were of this world then would my servant fight that i should not be delivered to the jews but now is my kingdom not from hench then Pilate therefore said unto him are thou a king then jesus answered thou say that i am a king to this end was i born and for this cause came i unto the world that i should be bear witness unto the truth everyone that is of the truth hear it my voice so here is a skill that you should learn and this is not just a skill but it's a skill of when to say stay silent and when not the skill is what to answer and what not to answer if somebody asks you are you a 36 ask you are you a 36 they ask you actually are you fat because they want a year no i'm i'm actually a 42 they can see you are not a 36 but why do they ask are you 36 while they can see that is not 36 they're actually asking you do you know you are fat sometimes you just have to keep silent not say a word i remember i remember glennis one of my colleagues that i used to work with in the year 2010 say from 2000 till 2006 everybody used to tell her you are fit but glennis is not fit she is strongly built like miss can you for glennis on dog so her her bone structure is already of a you can almost say she she's doing this thing what they call that thing uh she's doing weights but that's her natural body and every time whenever somebody talk about her her body of her or her weight she used to just laugh it off and just said it's my body this is who i am if you don't accept me for who i am i don't care and she has been doing that for the time i was with her she didn't care and then one day i saw glennis having this what is this personal trainer and i was wondering why is glennis now doing personal trainer it's not necessary for personal trainer because she's she's very uh active or do you call it sportive or something i don't know what you call that when somebody is active yeah but i didn't ask her she's underground now she's she she died a few months ago maybe last year or somewhere but the thing i'm saying is that she had a way of dealing with anybody asking her about her weight because she knew she wasn't overweight she was just built like that and most of her body was muscle than fit so why would you use the skill wrong way around jesus answered where it matters you have to answer where it matters i can tell you now you are tired because you've been answering questions god never asked you to answer you've been answering questions god never asked you to answer you're exhausted from defending decisions that already has been made for you don't defend yourself on somebody that already answered for you stop just stop it you don't owe your in-laws an explanation it's because of the yep yep yep that you would want to leave this guy now it's because of your yeah let's leave it there your old friends they don't even have to you don't have to answer them that's why they called old friends are you still with that one i i i it's not your business you don't owe people on facebook an explanation whatever they say i'll leave it i remember when when whitney was fairly new to this facebook thing and then she would come to me but they are so rude they i said ignore them just learn to ignore them because you don't have to any stone that is thrown to you you have to pick up the stone and throw back ah you don't have to you oh god your obedience and that's the only court you should stand in that's the only court you should stand in as i have 53 verse 7 says he was oppressed and he was afflicted yet he opened not his mouth he's brought as a lamp to do to the slaughter and as a sheep before the shearer in dumb so he opened not his mouth the lamp did not bleed the lamb did not argue the lamp walked through it and he saved the world by doing so stop just delete that draft stop just delete that post that you want to say close the conversation even in your head leave it at that pray about it then leave it pray about it let us have this week as a week of choosing our words at the right place with the right people because some people have not come to ask your hand and how they have come to ask you to accuse you the question they asked was never the answer that they wanted there's something deeper than just the answer that you are giving you know you you know i'm i'm thinking i'm thinking of it now from there was a there was somebody that asked me something about caroline now caroline is my kid's mother and when they they asked ask the question immediately i could sense there's some sort of an gender behind that question and i just said whatever you you you think about it i don't i don't know i can't answer you this was the question would you still go back to caroline after these years and i was like here it's 100 years after i've moved on 100 times what would make me to go back again but i didn't answer i just i just said whatever i don't know i can't answer you because i knew there was something or there was an agenda behind that question there was a big agenda behind that question some of the questions the holy spirit already can tell you hey don't answer don't answer but the questions that you can sense this one is the best of the best you can answer that one heavenly father we've been standing in courtrooms that we never asked that you haven't sent us to the courtrooms where it felt like we were guilty although we knew we were not and today i want to ask you wherever it is that we need defending ourselves help us to defend ourselves without a justification or how i pray today father god forgive us for treating every voice like it is important to answer i want to take this time father god and ask you that as we have come in certain conversations where the conversations felt like we have to say something keep us quiet in the mighty name of jesus keep us to be not having to explain ourselves to people who already remove themselves from our story who already made up their minds about us who we are and yet we want to answer i come now and i ask for the god help us to know what to answer and what to leave alone help us to be like jesus before pilot silent on the noise but clear on the mission but clear on the mission in the mighty name of jesus christ our lord and savior we pray amen and amen i want to take this time as well and say we have we have had many times where we we keep on doing certain things but it's like as if we are just doing it for ourselves so i'm extending the invitation that if there's something that you feel like you can help with and this is not monetary please don't get me wrong i'm not asking for money where you feel like you can help with please lend a hand this is not a what does that mean announcement but yeah announcement yeah it's not an announcement it's a plea i was having the the thing in the morning trying to to do so many things at the same time i ended up getting so frustrated that i almost thought let's just leave this thing i i literally felt like let me just preach the word and get it over and done with done and that's it after i'm done i've done what i am here to do so i'm extending the invitation that if you feel like running a camera do that for me please because this morning was very frustrating i had all the issues with everything